August 16, 1830

[I will jump a few years ahead to get to the end of the journal]

I have become an age where I must marry. My father is pressuring me to get married to Johannes Van der Beek. Johannes is an officer of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands. My father thinks he will be the best suitor for me since I rejected the previous men.

I do not think that I will be happiest if I am to be married to a stranger. My age and eccentricities deter most men, including my father. It seems that when I was younger he indulged in my fantasies. But now that I am of age, I need to be a respective member of the Kingdom of the Netherlands.

I have struggled with the pressure of my father and my own longing for adventure. Dutch women are not supposed to travel the interior of India alone[India in Dutch often refers to the Dutch East Indies]. When I asked my father if I could go to Sumatra alone he nearly collapsed. He warned me of the savages that lived there. The natives of Atjeh are more violent than the Javanese.

The Dutch are fighting more wars in the area. Pepper is the main export in that area and the sultanate fights the Dutch for more autonomy in trade. It is a dangerous time to be there, my father told me.

But I cannot shake the feeling that something is there. Ever since I heard of Sir Raffles discovering a temple of indescribable size, traveling throughout the Orient, I cannot help but feel that I too have a need to travel. What more could we learn if we studied the people of interior India and the Americas? What new technology they have used for hundreds of years, what the people are like. I hope my father can come around to me restraining from modern values.